pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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