"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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