chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
