i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize