I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
