This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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