1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
how drunk are you?
Several
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
