I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
