It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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