your room smells of hookers.
And success
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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