I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
