C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
