just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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