fuck your aforementioned shoe
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
