youre lurking in front of me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
