we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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