bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
