Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
