my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
