So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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