does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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