she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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