I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
