Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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