He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?