Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'

(617): View more from Massachusetts

we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom

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(217): View more from Illinois

I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...

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(760): View more from California

new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

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(770): View more from Georgia

if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.

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(509): View more from Washington

While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.

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(757): View more from Virginia

My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.

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