it wasn't lemon gatorade
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize