Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.