If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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