My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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