Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
