Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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