Where are you?
In a non slutty way
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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