I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
