Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
