The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
