these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
