your room smells of hookers.
And success
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
did you just send me my own nude
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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