yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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