The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
