Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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