Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
