girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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