This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
