Having a random hookup so left but love u
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
