And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
