dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
