Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
