I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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