There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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