Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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