I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
