Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I smell stomach acid.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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