Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Randomize
