well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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