what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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