i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I need water and some morals
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
