Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
