Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
