you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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