R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
wanna go halves on a baby?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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