You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
