That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
