what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.