This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.