I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.