I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
