Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
