He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
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Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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