ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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