I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
